You thought the Jabberwock was scary,
With jaws that bite, and claws that catch,
Do you not know the vile Hair Fairy,
Who in the night, attacks your thatch?
In corners of your dark bedroom,
Until you sleep, she lingers,
So to create hairstyles of doom,
With her greasy wizened fingers.
Beware the Hair Fairy my dear,
In twilight hours, sleep ensconced,
With spiteful glee and heinous cheer,
She makes evil on your bonce.
How I’ve suffered her ghastly taunts,
Wreaking havoc with a hair-do,
I’ve woken up with odd bouffants,
A ‘Don King’, and ‘Kajagoogoo’.
Balding gents whose locks once shone,
She’s been at you for years!
Plucking each hair with scaly tongue,
To glue them in your ears.
That gravity-defying flagpole,
A mullet on your wedding day,
Horrific frizz, gel can’t control,
You know now who’s to blame.
So beware the Hair Fairy my friend,
For when you think you’re safe in bed,
The back-comber of Beelzebub,
Is committing crimes against your head.