I thought that I’d lost U, but U were right there,
Just under the table, by the leg of the chair,
I was indignant. How could U leave me this way?
Until the sad realisation of who’s really to blame.
It was late, I was tired, writing something for work,
Constant power cuts were driving me almost berserk,
Though intermittent crap Wi-Fi should be no excuse,
For me to go crazy and start shouting abuse.
On the third time of ‘lights out’, I yelled like a klaxon,
Using words more befitting of Samuel L. Jackson,
In my darkened despair, I threw the mouse in my hand,
With instant regret at the loud cracking sound.
When the lights came back on, I looked at the place,
Where U lived on my keyboard, was now empty space,
I thought of life without U, and the time I would waste,
Trying to replace U using copy and paste.
So happy to find U, yet I felt quite ashamed,
And although reunited, U just weren’t the same,
Once I coaxed U back home, things didn’t feel right,
Without warning U would pop off, disappearing from sight.
I sought professional help for U, me, and the laptop,
We went to Mr Lim Kong at the local Tech Shop,
I told him what happened, I’d been driven quite mental,
“But it’s your laptop”, he told me, “you have to be gentle”.
I admitted to Lim how I’d been such a fool,
As he asked in amazement, “But.. did you use glue???!”,
He managed to get us working together again,
And with new found respect, U and I become friends.
Now, when my patience is tested, I just look at U,
Still now a bit wonky with shiny remnants of glue,
I’m reminded there’s no good in anger and shouting,
Being a dick, throwing things, sulking and pouting.
Though life’s crappy days may sometimes be long,
Not all broken things can be fixed by Mr Lim Kong,
This lesson with U has taught me how to be calmer,
And now in times of distress, I channel The Great Dalai Lama.