“What the hell is that still doing there?” Red glared through the portal at Earth. “I thought you pushed the annihilate button before we went to party.”
“I thought you did.”
“No, I put the tail on.”
“But I put the tail on.”
They squinted at the monitors.
“Shit. Now we have two tails.”
Red groaned. They had gotten hammered on Gargle Blasters and his photons were still partially solidified. “Well, let’s just do it now.”
“Wait. Look. Earth Data Feed says NASA has told everyone we’re a comet.”
“So?”
“Well, they must know we’re an Interstellar Leisure-Beast, but they’re hiding the fact from the humans. We could just sneak past, ya know, comet-like. We wouldn’t even have to tell Upper Management that we’d screwed up.”
“It would save having to write a report, you know how I hate paperwork.”
“And we wouldn’t have to destroy anything.”
“Yeah, I suppose.”
The intergalactic comms system lit up. They both winced.
“Oh crap, it’s CERN again.”
“Shouldn’t they be playing particle billiards with their big ring? Listen, if they’re gonna meddle, we’ll have to resort to Plan A and torch the place.”
“Let’s see.” Warf put the message on the main screen.
HELLO…THIS IS CERN (OF EARTH) TO THE 3I/ATLAS…WE WOULD LIKE TO WELCOME YOU TO OUR STAR SYSTEM…
“That’s it, they’re toast.”
“Wait..” Warf stops Red’s flipper on it’s way to the control panel.
…WE KNOW YOUR TECHNOLOGY IS ADVANCED…BUT WOULD YOU LIKE THE CODE FOR THE WI-FI?…
“Baahahahaa, they still use wi-fi!!!!”
…ALSO, IF YOU WOULDN’T MIND…IT IS TOTALLY GOING TO SHIT DOWN HERE…WE COULD REALLY USE YOUR HELP…
“What should we do, Red?”
“A fresh batch of Gargle Blasters, Warfy.”